Splish Splash

I can't quite figure out much about relationships right now. I can't figure out if I just expect too much or what the hell is going on. I don't know if I'm like unknowingly comparing everything to past relationships... or what. It's so frustrating because I don't want to cross any lines or come across to strong or whatever, but damnit, I just need... MORE. Is it bad that I'm only 23 and I've already given up on men?? I mean I definitely know there are some good ones out there, even great ones maybe, but I'm pretty sure they're all taken. I just don't think I'll find the right one because I just don't really believe he even exists. Part of me thinks that you have to create the right one, that you have to find a decent one and then mold him into someone you can be happy with and who makes you happy in return. I don't really expect too much for someone to come along like, all perfect and what not. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if there really is such a thing as a soulmate, and even if there is, how the hell do you know when you've found him?? It's just so frustrating to me. I'm not afraid to be alone or anything like that, but I guess I'm starting to realize that I just don't prefer it. And right now I'm technically not alone, but sometimes it just feels like it. I apparently have completely different views on things than other people do? Part of me feels like I just need to get over it and stop like bitching and complaining, which is really easier said than done... but I'm definitely working on it.

So. I moved into my place about two months ago or something, and a friend of mine helped me. He's really turned out to be someone I can count on way more than I ever expected, and always has good intentions, though sometimes he just... screws up a lot. He hooked my washer up for me when he was helping me move, and I haven't even used it since.

Until tonight.

When I realized that the hose wasn't connected to the back of the washer thanks to the small lake that was occuping my kitchen floor. It was AWFUL. I mean a whole entire washer full of water... all standing about two inches deep in my kitchen floor. My toddler, now thinking it's like Christmas because of the new pool, is having a blast but continually slipping and falling and hurting himself. I came pretty close to a breakdown. But hell, I've been meaning to mop anyway, eh??

And speaking of my toddler, he is AMAZING. The things he says and does absolutely blow my mind. I can't even describe it. I by all means never want to be that parent that is so sure that their child is smarter than any other child, but I definitely know he's smarter than the average bear. He can spell his name.. he's TWO. And not like, late in his second year, but just turned two in August. He remembers more than I do, asks me the craziest questions, and figures out everything that I never would have thought he could. I'm extremely thankful for him, even when he's turned into Mr. Attitude and won't say a single nice word.

So yeah...

My texting soul needs a new phone.